ARE INDIAN MARRIAGES OUTDATED WITH RITUAL AND OSTENTATION?

In India marriage is a cherished event to remember. It is filled with ritual coming down for maybe as much as 75 generations. However, in the case of a Hindu marriage all the mantras are in Sanskrit which very few understand today. The bride and the groom simply go on doing whatever the purohit says mechanically without understanding a single word. 

Tradition is fine but it is high time that we simplify the ritual of marriage and make the mantras intelligible to the persons who are getting married. It should be made clear to the couple that marriage leads to a happy life and their consent should also be obtained to wed each other. There are many rituals in our marriages which perhaps were relevant in their times but are totally out of tune with the present day life. Despite knowing that no one dares to break the tradition and it endures. What is more important than rituals and mantras is that the couple lives happily together all their life and that is the goal of any marriage.

Marriages are becoming more and more ostentatious day by day. Each parent wants to outdo the other in celebrating the marriages of their children. In Hindi they say “Dhoom Dham se Shaadi karenge” as though that itself is the epitome of marriage. Similar sayings exist in other languages as well.

Some people deliberately show their wealth at the time of marriage and want to impress other people. Some poor people try to celebrate marriages as ostentatiously as rich people do by borrowing money. I think that is pretty ridiculous.

With each marriage more and more people are being invited to attend. What happens when thousands of people are invited for a marriage? With so many people around the groom/brides parents do not even have time to say hello to each of their guests. The guests in their turn are used to it because the same thing is happening in all other marriages. So they just give their attendance at the marriage have lunch/dinner and try to depart after that is done. In this process feeling has totally gone and it has just become a formality that has to be adhered to.

Marriages would be much more meaningful if only people close to the bride/grooms parents are invited and the number is made limited so that a close-knit gathering with empathy would be present rather than a diffuse gathering trying to perform a formality.

L